Pride Goeth Before Fall
by 2lieutenant
Summary: Dietrich finally wins a conflict over the Rat Patrol, and Moffitt receives some lessons on how to improve his German.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Rat Patrol or profit from writing. I do it just because I need to do something with my brain.**

 _ **Italics**_ **note sentences supposed to be in German. I thought it would be better to do this, than writing everything again in English.**

Moffitt's heart thumped in painful regularity. He was sweating profusely, but he hoped the Germans would credit the desert for all his sweat. The Allied Headquarters had sent Moffitt to the German Headquarters in Benghazi. The Allies had recently captured a Germen spy on the way to Benghazi to provide the Germans with some vital information. Moffitt's assignment was to go in place of the spy and hand the Germans false information to harm their side. When they had reported to Captain Boggs, a General was with him. The General had outlined their assignment and then inquired as to who Sergeant Moffitt was. The General had looked expectantly at Hitch. Moffitt stepped forward and introduced himself. The General looked quite disappointed.

"I was rather hoping that Sergeant Moffitt would look more German than this." He directed his gaze at Hitch. "You don't happen to speak any German do you?"

Hitch shook his head, "I know just about enough to say, 'Hands up or we'll shoot.' I don't think that would be very helpful in this situation. Moffitt is the only one who can speak German. He speaks it like a Kraut."

The General sighed, "Well, I guess you'll have to do. But remember, you must be very convincing. The fate of thousands of soldiers rests in your hands."

Moffitt nodded, "I understand, Sir. I will do my best."

"Very well, you leave tomorrow."

Moffitt walked into German Headquarters. _"I am here to speak to General Zimmerman_." He was led to a room. Inside was General Zimmerman and several other officers.

The General got up. _"Ah, Lieutenant Lang. I hope you made it here with no difficulties."_

Moffitt smiled, _"Yes, I had few difficulties_."

 _"I believe you have something for me."_

 _"Yes, here is the map of their biggest supply depot."_

 _"Thank you, Lieutenant. You have been a big help to the Third Reich."_

Moffitt saluted crisply and left. He really could do without these sort of missions. They took several years off his life. He would have grey hairs way before his time. He got into his vehicle and left. He couldn't wait to get back to the base.


	2. Chapter 2

Dietrich slammed his hand against the desk. The attack against the big Allied depot had turned out to be abandoned and no longer in use. The information the spy had given them had been false. To make matters worse, the description of the fake German spy, had sounded suspiciously like one Sergeant Moffitt of the Rat Patrol. How the man had managed to get past General Zimmerman, was beyond him. Moffitt's German was adequate, but was not extensive and still bore a slight accent. Dietrich considered his English much better than Moffit's German. Perhaps the tension of war blinded those to Moffitt's German. People had too many important things to consider than focusing on whether or not every person's German was good or not. How he would love to be able to send then to a POW camp. The Rat Patrol was turning his hair prematurely grey. He was always so close to capturing them before they slipped from his grasp. Sometimes Dietrich wondered if they did it on purpose to torment him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: _Italics_ still imply German.**

Moffitt was given a twenty-four hour leave. He decided to go to the a museum in the nearby neutral territory. He was studying some Egyptian artifacts when he heard a slight clearing of a throat behind him. Moffitt turned and came face to face with Dietrich.

 _"I did not know Egyptology interested you, Captain."_

Dietrich smiled slightly, _"Yes, I have always had a fascination with the Egyptian culture. Tell me, Sergeant Moffitt. I heard some rumors that you were involved in some spying activity. Is this correct?"_

 _"I couldn't say, Captain."_

 _"No, it could not have been you. I was told the man spoke excellent German with no accent."_

 _"I speak very good German,"_ Moffitt said proudly.

Dietrich smiled smugly _, "Thank you, Sergeant Moffitt. You have just answered my question. Perhaps you would like to converse in English?"_

 _"Why would I want to? I am quite comfortable speaking in German."_

 _"Perhaps you might, but I cannot stand listening to you butcher the language. If English does not interest you, than would you prefer French or Swahili?"_

 _"I only declined the offer to speak in English because I know how you have some difficulty speaking our language."_

Dietrich was indignant, _"My English is much better than your German. I have absolutely no difficulty speaking English. I cannot say the same for you and German."_ He switched to English. "You do not put the right emphasis on some words. Also, your vocabulary is not extensive."

They got into such a heated debate, they were asked to leave the museum. They left and went to a nearby bar to continue the discussion.

"For instance," Dietrich said, "You do not know many of our German idioms. Could you tell me what this means: _Alles hat ein Ende, nur die Wurst hat zwei."_

"Quite simple, it translates in English to 'everything has an end, only the sausage has two.' It means everything must end."

"That was very obvious. What about this one: _Dir haben sie wohl etwas in den Kaffee getan."_

Moffitt thought for a few moments. "It's literal meaning is 'you've probably done something to the coffee,' but I can't remember what it means in German." He thought for a few more moments. "I know, it's 'you've got to be kidding.'" He smiled triumphantly at the Captain.

Dietrich looked perturbed, "Okay, try this one: _Sie spielt die beleidigte Leberwurst."_

Moffitt started laughing, "She's playing the insulted sausage? Really, Captain, who invented these ridiculous idioms of yours?"

Dietrich was slightly insulted. "No more ridiculous than 'don't count your chickens before they hatch.'"

Moffitt continued, "And what is with all your idioms referring to sausage? I know you Germans really like sausage, but this is a little much."

Dietrich changed the subject. "So do you know what it means or not?"

Moffitt reluctantly shook his head. "No, I'm afraid I don't. Don't think I've ever heard that one before. Pray enlighten me."

"It means 'she's in a huff.' It is used fairly frequently."

Moffitt sighed, "Okay, maybe I don't know German as well as I thought I did. But I know it well enough to fool many Germans. How about you, do you know all of our idioms?"

"It's hardly possible to know all of them, I learned American English, not British English."

"Well still. What does this mean: more holes than swiss cheese?"

"It means something is incomplete or lacking many things or parts."

"All right, what about this one: a penny for your thoughts?"

Dietrich smiled, "Yes, I have heard a lot of this one. It is a way of asking someone what they are thinking."

"How about 'pardon my French?'"

"Oh, yes, of course. You use it when you apologize for questionable language. Are you done quizzing me?"

Moffitt nodded, "I must admit, I'm impressed with your knowledge of English."

Dietrich looked smug, "Now, do you admit your German is lacking?"

"It is not lacking, but I could definitely brush up on it a bit."

Dietrich smirked. He got up from the bar. "Well, Sergeant, I best be going. I hope your German is better by the time I talk to you next."

"I wouldn't count on it, Captain."

Dietrich raised an eyebrow. This was very unlike Moffitt.

"You see, Captain, we'll probably see each other before I make any real progress on learning all your sausage idioms." Moffitt also got up to leave. "I shall see you later. Auf Wiedersehen."

Dietrich grimaced, "Sergeant, I would also work on the accent. Goodbye." On his way back to his base, Dietrich couldn't help but smile the whole way. He had finally won a "skirmish" with the Rat Patrol.


	4. Chapter 4

Back at the base, Hitch asked Moffitt what had taken him so long.

"You get lost or something, Sarge?"

"No, I was having an educational discussion with Hauptmann Dietrich."

Troy leaned forward, "Dietrich? What were you and Dietrich discussing?"

"We were debating who was better at the others language. He quizzed me on German idioms to test me. I did the same for him."

"And who was better?" Tully asked.

"Dietrich was," Moffitt grudgingly admitted.

The other Rats started laughing.

"Looks like you need to brush up on your German, Sarge," Hitch said.

"That is exactly what Dietrich told me."

"I must agree with the Captain. You do need to brush up on your German."

They turned around and saw Christina walking towards them. She smiled, "I was told by the visiting General my accent needed improvement. Apparently he speaks the language well. But he did say it was better than Jack's."

Tully grinned, "Well, Sarge, looks like you found yourself a tutor."

"He especially needs help on the German idioms," Hitch added helpfully.

Moffitt waved a hand. "I'll never understand all those ridiculous sausage sayings. They make no sense."

"No different than saying 'don't count your chickens before they hatch.' That makes no sense either," Christina pointed out.

Moffitt groaned, "That's what Dietrich said."


End file.
